


Breathing Your Air

by aesteroids



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Mashup - Fandom, Shrek (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-22
Updated: 2018-10-21
Packaged: 2019-08-05 16:54:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16371473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aesteroids/pseuds/aesteroids
Summary: Lego Harry Potter is facing a personal dilemma when Movie Harry Potter ridicules his lackluster penis. He consults his friends for guidance and ends up getting a little more than he expected.





	Breathing Your Air

Harry Potter stumbled across the lush green fields of Camp Half Blood, his life-size Lego face in tears. His little yellow legs pumped wildly until he reached the fireplace where all his friends sat.

"Hey, Potter!" Chuckled Lotor heinously, his mouth erect. "What is up with you?"

Lego Harry collapsed to a halt. "You wouldn't understand." He wailed. Sobs wracked his body, and Elmo had to rest one fluffy hand on his thigh to calm him down.

"I'm sure we would." Whispered the pope. "We're your friends!"

Applejack whined in agreement. Mrs. Hudson spilled some tea on herself. Barry Benson and his clan of furries buzzed. Sans chuckled. 

Thank you." Harry screamed.

Batman gave a thumbs up.

"So what's wrong?" Inquired Karkat.

"Everything." Sobbed Harry. "Human Harry said I had a.........a.........a........"

"A what?" BTS said in unison.

"A small dong...."

Everyone gasped.

Princess Bubblegum fainted.

AmazingPhil covered his ears and blushed the color of tampons.

"Who." Doctor Who said.

"And I don't know what to say." Said Harry sadly, his painted eyes filling with effervescent tears.

"That is such a mean thing to say!" Said Shrek. "I'll punch him."

"No shrek don't do that." Harry moaned.

"Violence is bad." Said Applejack.

"I'm bad." Said Shrek, displaying rippling biceps and a shoulder tattoo that said "Bad Boyz".

"That's hot." Said Harry, "I mean. Not hot. I'm not gay."

Batman smiled knowingly to Karkat and Sans, who were making out. "We know.

" Who!" Said Doctor Who.

"SHUT UP DOCTOR WHO." Everyone said.

"Who." Doctor Who said sadly and stalked off.

"Okay now that he's gone we can try and deal with this problem." Said Lotor evilly.

"Okay." Said Harry.

"Sorry to burst your bubble Harry" Said Elmo. "But we don't really know how big your.,.......thing really is.It could be small for all we know."

"Oh my god." Said Harry.

They were right. The only way to disprove Human Harry was to prove that his member was actually huge.

Harry stepped up to the podium, his lego body shivering.

"I have to do this guys. He said. "I need to show them I'm a big man."

He ripped off his lego legs. Underneath those lego legs were a yellow lego legs. In between those two legs rested a..........

"Oh my god." Said BTS as one.

His stick was HUGE. It was so big it whacked the Pope in the eye. The Pope was also 20 feet away.

"I need that inside me right now." Says Karkat.

BTS's d*ck's rose simultaneously through their pants.

Elmo's mouth dropped open.

AmazingPhil squeezed his eyes shut and said, "No! I'm too innocent for this!"

Princess Peach's kitty cat grew really wet. All the minions went "Oh." and fainted, their doogalloos erect.

 "What's wrong with you guys?" Said Harry, trying to cover his plastic weiner dog with his lego hands. "Are you okay."

"No." Said the Pope, whose papaya ruler was sticking out of his robe. "I want to FRICK you."

**\- - - - - - - - END OF CHAPTER 1- - -- - - - - - - - -**

 


End file.
